ask jen gordon Life Change

Get advice to overcome any of life's challenges. Ask Jen Gordon

Saturday, January 09, 2016 Jen Gordon

Happy New Year!!

2016 is here along with the hope and promise of another year to live more closely to the life you have hoped for and dreamed of.

It is never too late to steer your life in the direction of your heart’s desire for fulfillment and happiness. And I want to take the opportunity to offer my help guiding you more closely to the life you really want.We all seek to create a more meaningful place in the world, just some of us don’t know where to begin and how to get there.

I would like to offer my guidance and help get your life moving toward the fulfillment you seek. Please email me your life questions regarding anything that may be troubling you. No question is too controversial. I can’t publish every question I receive, but I will do my best to personally answer every single one.

Below is a question I received recently from one of my clients …

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months, and I have known that he has a pretty crazy ex-wife but she hasn’t been a problem for us until now. Because they share joint custody of their children, he can’t completely shut her out of his life. Recently she tried to contact me on Facebook and expressed anger about me spending time with their children. Her tone was very threatening and I want nothing to do with this women or the drama, what should I do?"

Your job is to create the greatest amount of goodness and peace in your life. If you love your new boyfriend and it feels like a healthy, rewarding relationship then it is important not to manage his relationship with his ex. That is not your job.

Since you have no control over other people, meaning him or his ex or anyone else. It is equally important to only own what you can control and that is yourself.

Decide for yourself what is going to create the greatest amount of peace. Only you can determine that. I would recommend taking the inner action of releasing your boyfriend and his ex to work out their own issues. And picture/visualize the ease you feel of not having to control him or them. Or carry that burden that is not yours. Every time you want to jump in and do something, instead focus on the peace of it being handled in the best way in the outer world by your boyfriend and the responsible parties.What you need to do is mainly inner work. The work of letting go.

For an outer action I would recommend this dialogue with your boyfriend:

“Scott (fill-in your boyfriends name) your ex-wife reached out to me on Facebook. I didn’t respond to her. The note felt weird (fill in the blank) and the tone was inappropriate. I am not upset about her reaching out to me but at the same time I’m not comfortable with it.

I want to be in a relationship with you, but I need you to manage the relationship with your ex and let her know that it is not appropriate to contact me. Can you please take care of that for me? It makes me feel really good when I know you respect me and my feelings and can manage your personal relationships outside of us.”

In the above you are identifying how you feel, you are communicating what you need and are focusing on the most positive outcome.

Love means making choices for yourself that feel the most free, expansive and clear.  You are the person you need to observe in your relationships with others. That is all you can control.

Use your power of thought and emotion to steer your inner vision toward the outer results you want.

Please email your questions to:

For more information about Jen Gordon or to hire her as a life coach visit:

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