Advice Attractive

Never Take Dating Advice From A Single Dude

Thursday, February 27, 2014 Kenny Muzzey

“That’s one of the most common complaints I hear from girls…” said H, in what reflects a conversation that you would expect to hear in a psych class, “He doesn’t appreciate me.”  From there, he goes on to explain that girls almost tend to seek that quality out.  A guy who doesn't appreciate them, a guy whose availability is questionable, a guy who is not going to do any favors for her, unless he gets his in return.  Unlike those nice guys... Who finish last.... 

H is no expert on relationships, nor am I.  And as a matter of fact, I choose to avoid them all together.  But in my time, I've made a few observations.  

Friends…. Friends of friends, coworkers, and just random people I observe. So many people, both men and women treat their significant other like an emotionless piece of meat. We’ve all been at that party where the girl ends up crying because of something her boyfriend had done inexcusable. I had been at a friend’s house listening to girl rant and rave about her boyfriend for upwards of twenty minutes. There came a point where I had to jump in, had she been making everyone miserable. I explained to her, “I’m sorry to say this, but if your relationship makes you that unhappy perhaps you should talk to your boyfriend about it and work it out, or you need to move on to something better.” She stared at me shocked.

Had the girl in the previous paragraph taken my advice? I will never know. And that is another mystery. Why would an individual stay in a relationship when from a mile away everybody can tell that it’s not working out? A question I have often times asked myself when friends had confided with me. Lots of reasons come to mind, maybe the couple has been together for so long that it is just easier to ignore the problem, maybe it is because one of the parties has a low self-esteem or lacks confidence in combination with sheer desperation, maybe it is they are blissfully ignorant to the situation…. At any rate, in most cases, there is no one reason.


Another question that comes to mind is, when does it become inappropriate to say anything? I’ve been in situations where I see friends and the boyfriends/girlfriends clearly have some serious issues that need to be addressed. And I have never actually said anything as I felt it wasn’t my place to say anything. Feeling as if my friendly advice would be dismissed as jealousy, hatred, or whatever they would wish to call it. And to be frank, if a friend approached me offering me advice about a relationship I was in, I would most likely react negatively and dismiss the accusations. No matter how true they may be it can be hard to see them, especially if you do not want to.

I am big enough to admit that I have done some shitty stuff in past relationships. Things I have sincerely apologized for or at least I believe I have. As I am sure we all have. And now that those relationships are over I can clearly look back upon them and realize what mistakes I had made. As when I was in said relationship I thought I was fine. And as previously stated if a friend had pointed out things we needed to work on, I would have dismissed them.

What I am trying to say is that sometimes the only way to get a straight forward answer to our questions is to look at ourselves and our relationships, be them romantic or platonic, is through the eyes of an outside observer. Which you should then ask yourself….”Do I like what I see? Do I like who I have become?” What it boils down to is simple, this is your life, you should not waste time being upset, if something does not make sense or needs improvement, work on it, or it is time to move on. You always have options, ALWAYS. If you feel otherwise you’re just not looking hard enough.

Perhaps I have over simplified things or over stepped my boundaries? If you think so, do me a favor and share with us down below. I do enjoy getting feedback and I will do my best to respond. Thanks in advance.

~KM~Halfstack Blogger & Photographer

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